phazonfarmer's News

The cake is not a lie!!!

2009-09-05 12:18:24 by phazonfarmer


So, I've been playing Guitar Hero for a while now, and whenever I play in a group, it always seems like there's at least one person who has little/no idea what they're doing. So in the interest of educating the masses (of noobs), I hereby present a compilation of my notes.

Whenever a noob sees a long stream of notes, they start strumming frantically. While the intention seems good, whenever I tell them to stop, they simply pass me a confused "Why?" and turn their attention back to the screen.

When a note passes the strike line, the player's multiplier is reset, and the Rock Meter goes down. This much is obvious. However, when a player strums incorrectly, the same thing happens, but with a sound comparable to a sour note. When I see this happening, the player seems to get confused, followed by even more frantic strumming. The solution is simple: Before letting yourself get carried away by panic, stop strumming and take a moment to compose yourself.

Also, while we're on the subject of over-strumming, let's take a moment to discuss another issue: Strumming during held notes. I have, on rare occasions, witnessed people missing held notes, then strumming frantically, as if that would make up for their missing it. If you have done this in the past, then please, just stop. If you fail to hit that note at the beginning, then that's it. You've missed it, and strumming like that will only make things worse.

I hope this message will help usher in a new generation of GH/RB experts. If you have any comments or questions, please leave them in the space provided.


2008-04-29 16:57:56 by phazonfarmer

For no reason whatsoever, I'm going to put down everything my mom has taught me about being a parent over the years.

- Your child's education is more important than their social life.

- No matter what they say, your children demand your help with everything.

- Your kids have WAY too many toys to ever get bored.

Rant #2: Lying

2008-04-09 13:03:33 by phazonfarmer

People tend to lie a lot. True, it is mean, but then, why do people do it? The answer is simple: Fear of what would happen if they tell the truth. You see, humans are just another species on Earth, and, like most other species, we tend to fear anything we see as a threat. Therefore, we feel the need to do whatever is within our power to prevent these threats from occurring. That is what lying is for: To protect against threats posed by other humans.

Today marks the first anniversary of when I first signed up for Newgrounds! Yay! W00t! Awesome! Hooray! ^_^

Rant #1: Color names

2008-03-04 16:11:53 by phazonfarmer

I think colors have the weirdest names. They're probably just the first series of syllables that could be thought of when they were named. Example: Mahogany. What the hell is a mahogan?! And Chartreuse? And Viridian? If it's not what I said before, then where do these names come from?


2008-02-23 11:20:48 by phazonfarmer

I'm bored, so I think I'll just make a list of songs that would be good in a GH game. Yes, I know, it sounds stupid, but it'll help pass the time.

"All Hail Shadow", "His World" - Crush 40

"Goofy Goober" Rock Version - Spongebob Squarepants Movie

"Blvd. of Broken Dreams", "American Idiot", "Holiday", "St. Jimmy" - Green Day

Live and Learn - Sonic Team (What! It's a great song!)

That's all I can think of right now, but I'll probably think of more later. If you have any ideas, please include them in your comments. With any luck, someone who actually works for GH might come across this page.

My proposal

2008-02-09 19:47:07 by phazonfarmer

I have an idea that could be good for the Guitar Hero franchise: the ability for players to play songs that they had downloaded off the internet.

Basically, players would download the song into their system's memory, then have it transfered directly into the game. As for the button sequences, well, the game would analyze the frequency, amplitude, pitch, etc., and then place the notes at varying spots depending on the music and difficulty level.

If you're still not sold (or never were to begin with), I have one last thing to say: Down the page, in the top slot of my faved music, is a song by weapongod30. Play it, and then ask yourself "What would it be like if I could play this in GH?" If you're still not sold after that, then there's nothing I can do.

I forgot to mention: If this idea is indeed used, then it would probably make sense for it to be unlocked by first unlocking all of the game's pre-programmed tracks. That way, the player would at least have a basic mastery of their preferred difficulty before they played anything too hard for them.


2008-01-12 18:30:32 by phazonfarmer

This is bad. I just got my first "Blue Screen of Death".

No, really, my very first one. In my 15 years on this planet.


2007-12-26 14:54:25 by phazonfarmer

I (finally) got Portal^TM yesterday, and I just beat it! ^_^

Also, one of the lines during the credits made me think that GLaDOS is going to be in the sequel (assuming there is one), despite what happened at the end of the game. O_o

Speaking of the sequel, I have an idea that could be used for it: A second set of portals. "How would this work?" you ask? Picture the "Infinite loop" maneuver. With a second set of portals, you would be able to turn a straight line into a circle: You fall into one that's on the floor, come out the other one that's on the floor, go back up through one on the ceiling, and then fall back into the first one.